Remember Your Worth and Value
Kids who are bullied often think they’re being picked on because there’s something wrong with them. This is absolutely not true. People who bully are looking for an available target, so they latch on to the next convenient person they believe they can gain power over. You just happen to be that person, and when it isn’t you, it’s going to be someone else. So if you’re feeling that the bullying is your fault, let go of that idea. It’s not your fault. No one deserves to be bullied. Period.
Too often kids who are bullied keep the problem inside because they feel embarrassed or ashamed. Doing this only makes it worse. Shame and silence can make you forget who you really are. Never forget the personal power you have inside. You don’t have to be just like everybody else to be worthy of respect. Your individuality is what makes you unique and special.
Unfortunately there are too many kids who believe everyone has to dress, talk, eat, think, act, and look alike. Well, they have it backward. The most interesting people are the ones who are completely and uniquely themselves. You are just right exactly as you are.
______________________________________________________________________________
The Real Deal for Kids who are Bullied: 8 Keys to Building Your Courage
1. Don’t believe a word they say. It’s more about them than you.
2. Don’t let them see you sweat; fake it till you make it.
3. Claim your dignity. Stand tall and walk proud. Use the Dignity Stance (See below.)
4. Use an exit line like, “I don’t have time for this stuff.” Then walk away with your head held high, even if they keep talking.
5. Take your power back by confiding in a trusted adult. Save the proof if there’s been cyberbullying.
6. Stick around other kids and adults. People who bully look for kids who are alone..
7. Strengthen your natural skills and talents. This will build your confidence muscle and renew your energy.
8. Reprogram your brain. Every night, picture yourself strong, confident, and standing up to the person who’s bullying you. See yourself triumphing.
**********************************************************************************************
The Dignity Stance
* Stand tall with your head held high, feet apart.
* Take slow deep breaths to keep your cool.
* Act as if you’re totally confident, even if you’re nervous.
* Keep your body language and facial expression strong but neutral.
* Make direct eye contact.
* Speak in a firm, steady tone of voice.
* Walk away tall and strong, silently repeating a calming statement.
Copyright 2010, Naomi Drew, author of No Kidding About Bullying, Free Spirit Pub. All rights reserved.
Excellent advice! So many kids are struggling with being harassed/bullied, and they're sometimes hearing from teachers things like "don't be a tattletale" or "there's nothing we can do until someone throws a punch" or things equally unhelpful. And I've talked to a lot of kids whose parents just say "ignore it" and "keep your head down" or things like that - I love that your suggestions are geared toward empowering the victim.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for posting!