Amazing Books to Help Teachers and Parents Combat Bullying

I am so excited about the new anti-bullying series that was just released by Free Spirit Publishing! The Weird Series, written by Erin Frankel and illustrated by Paula Heaphy, is perfect for kids in grades K-3, and I think teachers are just going to eat these books up. Below is an interview I did with author Erin Frankel. I know her books are going to help countless kids:

Tell us about the amazing fiction series you've written on bullying for younger kids.

It’s been a wonderful experience working with lifelong friend, Illustrator Paula Heaphy, and Free Spirit Publishing to create The Weird Series. It contains three books: Weird! Dare! and Tough! Each tells a true-to-life story of bullying told from three perspectives: the target, the bystander, and the child doing the bullying. Paula and I have had our own personal experiences with bullying and we wanted to use our experiences and talents to help make a difference. Weird! tells the story of a wonderful little girl named Luisa, who changes everything about herself to avoid being bullied and ends up learning important lessons about being true to who she is. We wanted to explore the roles that the bystander and the child doing the bullying played in Luisa’s story. This is how Dare! and Tough! came to life. We let the characters take us where they needed to go, and in doing so, I think the end result is a real sense of learning and healing from all three perspectives.

The Weird Series is completely unique in terms of books on bullying for younger children. What can this series help parents and teachers do in a way that no other books can?

Bullying doesn’t involve just one person. The Weird Series helps parents and teachers dig deeper into the roles that we all can play in putting an end to bullying. The books can be read separately or as a set, and regardless of the order in which they are read, each perspective opens a pathway to the other two books. If children wonder why the bystanders don’t speak up at first, or why the child doing the bullying acts so mean, or how the bullying made Luisa feel, parents and teachers can turn to these books for answers. The stories and illustrations are engaging and true-to-life, which means children will relate to the characters and will want to know more about their struggles. Each book includes “activity club” pages and discussion ideas that give parents and teachers even more ways to explore the topic of bullying with children.

 What are some important things parents need to know if their child is being bullied?

Here is what I have learned.  Bullying can affect every area of your child’s life. If your child is being bullied, don’t ignore the signs. For example, is your child suddenly more withdrawn or acting out of character? Has your child’s sleep habits changed? Have you noticed any unexplained physical injuries or does your child ask to stay home from school often? Targets of bullying are often ashamed and afraid to speak up about bullying. Help your child open up, and reassure him you’ll see to it that things don’t get worse as a result of doing so. Then, make sure to follow through.

Practice confidence-building and assertiveness strategies with your child to help her regain some of the confidence that bullying has most likely taken away. But most importantly, see to it that the school’s plan of action to stop the bullying is one that keeps your child’s dignity and safety intact. For example, your child should not be forced to sit down and work things out with his/her tormentor -- doing so can be re-traumatizing.  Also, any physical changes that are made in terms of seating arrangements, class adjustments, etc. should be aimed at the child doing the bullying, not the child who’s being targeted. Your child did not choose to be bullied and should not be the one inconvenienced or singled out. Educate yourself on best practices when it comes to bullying and don’t be afraid to share this knowledge with your child’s school. Here are a few websites for starters:

http://www.stopbullyingnow.com/parents.htm
http://www.bullying.org/htm/main.cfm?content=1084
http://www.stopbullyingworld.org/

How can teachers and parents help kids resist bullying their peers and classmates?

The greater the empathy, the greater the resistance to cruelty. To build empathy, it’s important to provide children with experiences and opportunities which allow them to put themselves in someone else’s shoes. Children who bully often experience a disconnect between their behavior and its effect other people’s feelings. When children can define and understand their own feelings, it becomes much easier to take on another person’s perspective and feel their feelings. When feelings are put into the equation, bullying becomes less likely.



What can parents do to help their children avoid becoming a target of bullying?

Start talking about bullying early on. Raise awareness so bullying doesn’t catch your child off guard. Help your child develop a strong sense of self, and along with that, positive self-talk to build confidence or regain confidence in the face of bullying. Often, children who’ve been bullied say, “I didn’t know what to do.” Our reflection and dialogue regarding bullying must be such that children have no question about what to do. The Weird Series provides many specific guidelines on this.

If we raise awareness early on, and cultivate empathy, then children won’t have to be on guard. They can be who they are within a supportive culture of kindness rather than one of cruelty. They can go back to being kids.

 What else do you want to share with us?

Before writing The Weird Series, my understanding of bullying came from personal experiences as a child, mother and teacher. While working on the books, I felt a deep responsibility to further that understanding, given the seriousness of the topic. I turned to the research and experience of individuals who have made a difference in bullying prevention. It would be impossible to mention everyone. But if I could share a few with parents and teachers: Barbara Coloroso, Stan Davis, Michele Borba, Rosalind Wiseman, Trevor Romain, and . . . Naomi Drew! Paula and I have also provided links to some wonderful anti-bullying associations on our website: www.theweirdseries.com.

Thanks for the opportunity to talk about something that means so much to me!

                                              
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Bullying and Conflict: Turning Things Around

Any teacher who’s ever had a class filled with bullying and conflict knows the challenge and frustration of getting through each day. Emily Voelkel of Houston Texas, is one such teacher. Faced with a 4th grade class who were at each others' throats continuously, Emily summoned up massive doses of determination, creative energy, and heart to deal with the problem head-on. She decided to use No Kidding About Bullying as her foundation for turning things around. What follows are her words, filled with so many creative (an moving!) ideas, I had to pass them on to you.


Emily's Words:

Your book is a godsend for teachers. I have passed it around among the people I know and will continue to do so. Teachers have so little time to pull a lesson together, and your book does it all. It even gives the exact words to say and ready-made worksheets. Not only did it help me focus, but it allowed me to be able to spend more time preparing for the kids. 


Before starting the book with my kids, I asked them to respond to these questions:


- How do you feel when you come to school?
- How do you treat your classmates/friends/teachers? How do they treat you?
- How do you feel at the end of the school day when you go home?


Here are some of the things they wrote:


"I feel depressed, sad and angry."
"This class is so mean. I don’t have friends.I just want to die."
 "Sometimes I wish I wasn’t even born because of the way I’m being treated."
 "Save me."
 "When I leave school, I feel very relieved that this nightmare is over."
 "Everyone hates everyone. I want it to be where everyone loves one another. It will feel better that way."


I put their words into a powerpoint presentation, then I gathered them in a room, turned the lights down, and read aloud their words. At the end, I played “Bridge Over Troubled Water,” had them join hands in a circle, and I gave each student a hug. I asked if they were with me as a team player in creating a more peaceful place every day, and they all responded “yes.” Some were in tears because they had never experienced anything like this before.


After that I worked hard to teach as many of the lessons as I possibly could. Because they were a difficult group, I had to intersperse the lessons with many, many hands on projects:

• We took clay and formed a peace sign, let it dry and painted it. 
• We made similar sculptures with wax. 
• We painted pictures that represented a peaceful place. 
• We made peace signs with beads and I melted them together with an iron at night. 
• We made a peace pledge banner and they stamped it with their hands with paint. 
• Every morning, I chose four students who were willing to step up to the plate and be a leader of peace for the day. They’d put on peace t-shirts I made them, and then I would say their peace pledge in the form of questions. They had to answer, "I do" after each statement.

Another project was picking a name out of a hat, then drawing a picture of something that person is good at doing, wrapping it in wrapping paper with a bow, and giving it to that person along with a note affirming their talent. 


I also had my kids choose a feeling: happy, sad, angry, depressed, excited. They drew a portrait of a person with one of those feelings. Then I asked them to think about what they would say to a student with that feeling if they saw them in the hallway. I typed their responses and we pasted each one on the portraits. All the portraits went on a banner that we displayed.


I’m telling you all of this because as I read your book I was inspired to do so many things to bring the message home for my kids. I had students write to me asking if they could be the leader for the day. Every student begged to wear the t-shirt. On the playground, they used win/win to discourage their friends from bullying and, instead, work out their problems with each other. When they witnessed my frustration, they reminded me to breathe! I had a large banner that read, “This is what we are doing to create a peaceful Houston!” The students wrote all over the banner messages about the way their friends, teachers, and staff were creating peace. We posted it outside of the cafeteria. 


For the last week of school, I wrote a peacemaking presentation for my fourth grade students to perform for the 2nd and 3rd graders. We gave 3 performances that week. Administration, parents and the counselor came to see it as well. The room was decorated with all the artwork and sculptures that we made. I awarded students at the end who had always been good peacemakers and those who had improved the most.


The principal gave me a card thanking me for my efforts and the kids were excited about what they had learned. The kids learned good lessons and it made them start to think about how harmful their words can be to each other. It also gave them hope that they can work out their problems at school and at home. They started to understand that a school can be a peaceful place and that they can be instruments of change. 

Thank you, Emily, for sharing all of this! I know your story will give hope and encouragement to every teacher who has ever struggled with a class that can't seem to get along.

With creativity and heart, it's possible to turn things around.

What Do You Think? To comment, e-mail Naomi@LearningPeace.com, or click on the word “comments.”.Write your comment in the box, then click on “Select profile . . .” If the top group of options doesn’t apply to you, select “Name/URL” to comment with your name (you can leave the URL part blank), or select “Anonymous.”